A Good Workout

"Wow, I really regret that workout."

-- No one ever

Wood mannequin 4-9-14

"I run to burn up what I don't need and ignite what I do."

-- Kristin Armstrong, 

Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run

"There will be a day when I can no longer do this.

That day is not today."

-- Unknown

I workout every morning. Every. Morning.

I used to be a runner, but an injury and chronic pain stole running from me.

Now I'm a swimmer and a cyclist. I can't swim right now because the surgical scar on my face is still healing and my goggles would fuck it up. Also, I'm still waiting for Old Man Winter to hit the bricks so I can get my bike back on the road. (My road bike is currently in the shop anyway because I wore out the chain and the sprockets riding on the indoor trainer -- wore them out!)

So for now, I'm stuck in the basement on my Sears stationary bike and NordicTrack skier. Sometimes I lift weights. I call it my "off season training" to make it more attractive.

It's mundane. It's boring. It's monotonous. I want nothing more than to be out there on the road gulping in the fresh air and sunshine.

But being confined to the "dungeon" doesn't mean I can't still get a good workout. I can make it work. The motivation part is a little tough right now, but once I get down there and get going, it's all good. I get the music playing and the blood pumping and the sweat flowing and it only takes a few minutes to start enjoying the familiar, heady feeling of exercising my body. 

Also, I am super-grateful that I have practically a whole gym-full of exercise equipment right in my very own basement. It makes it hard to make excuses.

And even if it's a little boring right now, it's till satisfying, because if I accomplish nothing else all day long, and no matter what else happens that day, and no matter how many ways I may let myself down, as long as I got my workout in, I never feel like a day is a total wash. I can say "at least I did that." It's my one most constant and reliable "good thing."

My exercise "dedication" borders on addiction. Probably it is an addiction. OK, it's an addiction. I know this because when I think about not exercising, I get twitchy, panicky. I get anxious and depressed and hopeless and afraid and bitchy and very, very sad. And often, the only thing that helps me cope when I'm panicky, twitchy, anxious, depressed, hopeless, afraid, bitchy or sad, is exercise. For me, there's nothing like a good hard workout to change my perspective and return the rosy glow to my outlook. Working out is my drug of choice. And yeah, OK, I admit, I probably abuse it and overindulge in it pretty regularly. (That chronic use injury didn't just happen all by itself. I gave it a  solid push with years and miles of hard pounding.) 

I'm now at an age where I have to barter with myself -- make trade-offs -- to make sure I don't exercise too much now and thereby jeopardize my chances of exercising 10 or 15 or 20 years from now. It's not easy, and am not always successful at this kind of discipline. I'll tell myself "Ride for an hour, maximum." But then I get out there and the wind is mild and the road is smooth and the perfect mix of songs is playing and I feel strong and extraordinarily happy and before I know it my water bottles are drained and four hours have disappeared and I'm still happily pedaling along, even if it hurts.

And I think, "Tomorrow, I'll do less." Or "Tomorrow, I'll take a day off."

But when tomorrow comes, I do it all over again.

Instead of doing less, I get regular acupuncture and massages to undo the damage.

I'm usually icing or heating something. I go through lots of Tiger Balm.

I only take a day off when absolutely forced to by circumstances beyond my control, and I hate it.

So yeah, I admit, I'm an addict.

They probably have meetings and 12-Step programs for people like me.

Doesn't matter. Even if they do, I wouldn't go.

Or if I did go, I'd most likely ride my bike there and back, just to sneak in a good workout.