Helpful People Who Are Super At Their Jobs

"It's easy to make a buck.

It's a lot tougher to make a difference."

-- Tom Brokaw

Superman and Batman action figures 11-20-15

"The world is moved along, 

not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes,

but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes

of each honest worker."

-- Helen Keller

I hate shopping.

I especially hate shopping during the holidays.

But I needed to buy a roasting pan to cook my Thanksgiving turkey in, so yesterday I girded my loins, grabbed the store circular and coupons, and headed to a local department store to get one.

I wandered around housewares for a while, but I couldn't find the roasting pan in the picture on the circular that was supposed to be on sale for half off. I was afraid I was going to have to ask for help.

Fuck.

One of the things about shopping that particularly stews my beef is that none of the "help" is actually helpful. Nine times out of ten, when I tell a store clerk that I can't find what I'm looking for, any number of things can happen:

1. They say it's not their department, so they can't really help me.
2. I ask who can help me, and they say that the one person who might possibly know something about it is at lunch.
3. After I've explained that I don't see the item on the shelf, they stare at the shelf where the item isn't, and confirm that the item is indeed not on the shelf.
4. They ask a manager who also stares at the shelf where the item isn't, and also confirms that the item is still not on the shelf.
5. I ask if there's any more of the item in stock. They mumble that what's out is usually all they have.
6. I ask when more might be coming in. They don't know. It could be Tuesday. It could be a couple of weeks.
7. I ask why the item is being promoted in the store circular if it's not in the store? They don't know.
8. I ask whether any other stores in the area might also carry the item. They don't know.

You get the picture.

Anyway, yesterday I didn't see the roasting pan in the picture on the circular on the shelf. So I asked a clerk.

Me: Do you have this roasting pan?

Her: I just unpacked a whole carton of them. They're right over here.

Me: Awesome.

Her: Here you go. Fresh from the carton.

Me: It doesn't get any fresher than that!

I asked if it was still on sale, so she scanned the bar code with her little gizmo. It came up quite a bit more expensive than it was supposed to be -- because it was the wrong roasting pan. It wasn't the roasting pan in the circular. It was a much bigger one, a much more expensive one, and definitely not an on-sale one.

Me: (Pointing to roasting pan in circular) Do you have this one?

Her: We did. They were right here. I just sold one earlier today.

I got a sinking feeling as I trailed behind her through housewares while she looked in all the same places I had already looked.

Shit, I thought. Here we go again.

Her: (Brightly and cheerfully) There should be more upstairs. I'll go check.

She scampered off and I browsed kitchen gadgets while I waited for her to return. It took her a good fifteen minutes, and I started to wonder if she was ever coming back. But she did come back, carrying a stack of roasting pans just like the half-off one in the picture on the circular.

As I slid one from the top of the stack, she even offered to carry it to the register for me. I said I could handle it.

Her: Can I help you find anything else?

Me:  Your manager, because they need to know you're doing a really good job doing your job.