"The more you try to crush your true nature,
the more it will control you.
Be what you are.
No one who really loves you will stop."
-- Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels
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| For Jill, on her birthday 1-16-14 |
"To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong,
is more admirable than the easy cowardice
of surrender to conformity."
-- Irving Wallace
For the past couple of years, on her birthday, I have created special photographs for my friend Jill.
It's my way of saying, in the most personal and expressive way I can think of, how much I love this quirky, kinky, hilarious, courageous, intelligent, wry, adventurous, multi-talented, traveling, against-the-grain woman.
Jill came into my life 10 years ago, and sometimes I wonder how I survived all those years before we met. You know how there are some people who just "get" you? Who seem cut from the same cloth? Cast from the same die? Who don't make you feel stupid for crying at the end of Black Swan, but who cry along with you, and then sit with you in a coffee shop for hours afterwards talking about why it was so goddamned beautiful? Who will eat her weight in your homemade rhubarb crumble? Who'll travel all the way to Australia and buy you a Devil Bride Doll ("with Jellybeans!") in a creepy deserted candy shop because it made her think of you, and because she figures you might be able to "use her for some kind of art."
Which is exactly what I did. I used the doll Jill sent me (stripped of her sassy pink capris, but still wearing her red t-strap pumps), along with one I found at the thrift store (which came naked, except for the pink fetish boots), as well as a bunch of naked Barbies, to illustrate our friendship as I see it. (Note: Jill and I don't actually look like these dolls. I'm being figurative here, not literal. It's an illustration. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Jill has those boots.)
Anyway, Jill isn't like anybody else I know, which is an enormous part of her charm. She inspires me to be as fully and completely and unapologetically myself as I can possibly dare to be, because that's exactly what she does. And I wouldn't have her any other way.
Now maybe you can see why a Hallmark birthday card would be way too ordinary.
Now maybe you can see why a Hallmark birthday card would be way too ordinary.
All I can say is, knowing Jill is not just a good thing, it's one of the best things. And if you're lucky enough to have a friend like her, then you're lucky enough.
How come whenever it's her birthday, I feel like I'm the one who got the gift?
