"... he would create a special level of hell,
an enormous inescapable shop of
attractive but useless and overpriced items
that the damned would wander for eternity
in the cold delusion that this was what they wanted."
-- Heide Goody, Clovenhoof
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| Pop-up monster toy in a Santa hat 12-21-14 |
"Pleasantly bustling shoppers streamed past us on Bond Street --
smart-suited men and well-heeled women whose
commitment to luxury goods glazed over their eyes
like a bad case of malaria."
-- Tyne O'Connell, Latest Accessory
"The thing to do," I said ...
"is to get absolutely everything in the summer and lock it in a cupboard.
Then order every scrap of food from a shop the week before Christmas
and sit back and enjoy watching everyone else go mad."
-- Miss Read, Village School
I bought my final Christmas gift yesterday.
Thank you Baby Jesus.
I do not particularly enjoy Christmas shopping, so it feels good to have the shopping monster off my back until it latches on again next year.
I do as little Christmas shopping as possible, and I'm very particular about who I buy for.
At this stage in my life, I will no longer let anyone pressure me into buying gifts for people I do not like -- you know, that forced Secret Santa crap or the fucking bullshit where you have to draw the name of a distant family member who you barely know, never see, and couldn't give two shits about.
Fuck that crap.
But I'm not a total Scrooge.
I don't mind getting gifts for people I love.
I try to give thoughtful things.
Unusual things.
Personal things.
Useful things.
Good things.
Cash (which falls under "useful.")
One of my favorite gifts this year is for our neighbor Vera. I got her a 1.75 liter bottle of Black Velvet whiskey. It's the big guy -- almost a half gallon -- in the plastic bottle. Vera is 86 and has a bum shoulder that makes it hard for her to lift heavy things. So I always buy her the plastic bottle because A.) it's lighter, and B.) if she drops it, there won't be any broken glass to contend with.
See what a good shopper I am?
