"Put a cork in it, Zane!"
-- "Derek Zoolander", Zoolander
 |
| Santa teapot with a cork in it 12-19-14 |
The bigger-than-life-sized freaky Santa towering over the Buddha should have been my first clue.
Sam and I went to have lunch and do some shopping yesterday at an "upscale" shopping center.
We stopped for sushi at our favorite Asian restaurant.
My unagi roll was delicious. But the constant drone of Christmas music being piped through the restaurant's sound system kind of sucked the zen right out of the dining experience.
The two of us had a seriously intense bitch session about why we detest the onslaught of Christmas music that saturates pretty much every environment this time of year.
It's exhausting, and frustrating, and annoying, and maddening, and everywhere. There's no escape.
Except, apparently, Abercrombie & Fitch.
Usually I can't wait to get out of A&F. I hate that store. The high volume, high intensity dance party music and overpowering cologne stench give me intense anxiety, and a contact buzz. But yesterday, instead of making me claustrophobic and anxious, the Christmas music-free zone felt felt like an oasis. An escape.
Albeit brief. Because when we stepped back out onto the street, there it was again, Christmas music permeating the atmosphere like tear gas.
If I hear Gloria Peevey singing "I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas" one more time, Imma cut a bitch.
Here's the thing.
I know it's Christmas. I get it. Enough already.
I do not need a Christmas music drubbing everywhere I go to remind me.
You know what would be refreshing, and a real gift? Don't play Christmas music in your store, or restaurant, or business. How about giving your customers a little break for the holidays?
My massage therapist, for example, does NOT play ANY Christmas music in her establishment.
She understands that her clients come there to relax, to escape, and to step out of the world for an hour. Allowing Christmas music to intrude rudely on the sanctuary-like environment would be counterproductive, even damaging.
If you go someplace that isn't playing Christmas music, and you like it like that, be sure to acknowledge it and thank the management for having the balls to break ranks and follow their own path.
