"Devotees have traveled to find stores offering it."
-- Maureen Morrison,
"Can the McRib Save Christmas?" adage.com
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| Golden arches shining in the East 12-12-14 |
"The heavenly sign around the time of the birth of Jesus Christ
was likely an unusual alignment of planets, the sun and the moon."
-- Tom Coyne,
"Why Did Wise Men Follow 'the Star in the East?'", nbcnews.com
"The fleeting nature of the sandwich
has generated a cult-like following."
-- "11 Amazing Facts About the McDonald's McRib,"
businessinsider.com
"Not everyone is ecstatic about the return of the McRib."
-- "11 Amazing Facts About the McDonald's McRib,"
businessinsider.com
So here's how my twisted mind works.
Yesterday I took my walk later than usual, so I was chasing the sunset to get home before dark.
As I walked the bicycle path that runs along some woods near my house, I could see the McDonald's sign gleaming like a beacon in the night sky in the far distance.
And I thought myself, "Geez. It sure is a good thing the McRib wasn't available back in the day, or who knows where those three wise men would have ended up. I think we all know who the real star of Bethlehem would have been."
Some things might stay the same.
Like, there'd still be flocks of people.
The lines would still be super long.
King Herod would still get all pissy, because he'd side with the animal rights people protesting the inhumane treatment of pigs or some shit.
Or he'd get pissy because the McDonald's location near his palace didn't have the McRib yet. So instead of sending the Wise Men to kill baby Jesus right away, he'd have sent them on a wild goose chase all over Judea to fetch him a McRib combo.
Parents of male children aged two and under would have to miss out on the limited time availability of the McRib, because taking Jr. to the PlayPlace would've been pretty risky. Obvs.
And there you have it.
It's sick and irreverent, I know. But sometimes I just can't help myself.
Kind of like people who love the McRib.
Amiright?
I'll stop now.
