Good Medicine

"When you got a condition,

it's bad to forget your medicine."

-- Frank Miller, Sin City, Vol 1: The Hard Goodbye

Mouth 12-20-14

"You'll be surprised how infinitely merciful they [these tablets] are.

The prescription number is 96814.

I think of it as the telephone number of God!"

-- Tennessee Williams, Summer and Smoke

My feet hurt all the time.

They've been that way for years.

I have literally given myself frostbite on my feet from icing them to numb the pain.

But I recently started taking this new medicine.

And for the first time in a very long time, my feet don't hurt.

It's my Christmas miracle.

I'm Not Old. I'm Efficient.

"Organize, don't agonize."

-- Nancy Pelosi

Smarties, Gummi bears, Nerds and Gobstoppers in a pill organizer 10-12-14

"A schedule defends from chaos and whim."

-- Annie Dillard, The Writing Life

I remember teasing my dad when he started sorting his weekly medications into the little flip-top squares of a plastic pill organizer.

Only old codgers do that, right?

I mean, once you start using the pill organizer, it's a slippery fucking slope.

Before long you'll be wearing those weird beige shoes with the Velcro straps. And a plastic rain bonnet.

You'll stuff tissues up your sweater sleeves.

You'll start going to bed at 7:30.

You'll get nostalgic about how big candy bars used to be, and saying shit like "It's not worth a plugged nickel."

Your house will start smelling like "old."

Your addled brain will start forgetting shit.

You'll take lots of pills.

And you'll forget which pills to take. And when.

Hence, the organizer.

Well I take lots of pills. And those little fuckers are hard to keep straight. And it takes forever opening and closing all of the safety caps on all of those prescription bottles every damn day.

So yep, I keep my pills in an organizer.

I don't do it because I'm getting old. I do it because it's efficient.

I mean, when my dad started doing it he was getting up there.

He had to have been at least ...

Fuck.

He was my age.