Anesthesia

"Do you know what it means to relieve man of his pain and suffering?

Anesthesia is the most humane of all of man's accomplishments,

and what a merciful accomplishment it was."

-- Joseph Lewis, An Atheist Manifesto

Self portrait 2-28-14

"Do you know that the religionists opposed the use of anesthesia 

on the ground that God sent pain as a punishment for sin, 

and it was considered the greatest of sacrileges to use it --

just think of it, a sin to relieve man of his misery! 

What a monstrous perversion! 

This one instance alone should convince you 

of the difference in believing in God or not."

-- Joseph Lewis, An Atheist Manifesto

If you've ever needed anesthesia, then you know full well what a good thing it is.

After wheeling me into the operating room to stitch up my "cancer hole" yesterday, the plastic surgeon injected a needle full of anesthetic into my face that numbed the whole right side of my head. Even my teeth. Even my ear. Even my lips. Even my nose. 

I knew he was in there scrubbing and then sewing away, but I couldn't feel a thing. 

I had the procedure at 1 p.m. The anesthetic didn't wear off until about 6 p.m. And when it did, boy howdy I knew it.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Which brings us to the One Good Thing History Nugget!

The first use of ether as an anesthetic in 1846 by W.T.G. Morton 

Anesthesia was discovered by American dentist William T.G. Morton, who, in 1846, first publicly demonstrated the use of inhaled ether as a surgical anesthetic by performing a painless tooth extraction after administering ether to the patient.

I, for one, am glad the use of anesthesia has progressed beyond an ether-soaked rag to the face.

I'm also glad that my gaping wound is now closed. I'm puffy and purple and look like I've been in a fist fight.

But I'll survive.

It's Not Melanoma

"Please don't be foolish like me. 

Get yourself checked. And USE sunscreen!!!"

-- Hugh Jackman 

Cupcake with stitches 2-27-14

There's a scene in the film Prelude To A Kiss where the Old Man says "Can I give you two a piece of advice? Floss."

It's a very sound piece of advice.  But he could just as easily have said "Use sunscreen."

This is all by the way of saying I had to have a chunk of my face removed yesterday because it contained skin cancer.

The remaining crater is as big around as a nickel and goes the entire depth of my skin -- all the way down to the fat layer. It's nice and prominent, too, just above my cheekbone directly under my right eye. I have to go to the hospital today for the plastic surgeon to stitch it shut.

That's one bad thing.

Another bad thing is that I can't swim for at least a couple of months, because of the stitches, and also because the scar is going to be right where my goggles hit, which could totally fuck up the healing process.

Sad face.

The good thing is, it's a highly treatable kind of skin cancer, not the potentially deadly kind. Everybody keeps telling me it's in a good place because after the stitches heal, it'll blend right in with my eye wrinkles. (Boy, they really know how to make a girl feel attractive.)

Plus, now I have something in common with Hugh Jackman. Except his skin cancer was on his nose.

Oh, and another thing they said was that there is a chance my eye will bruise and possibly swell shut. So there's that.

Of course I had lots of questions -- cancer-related questions. But on the car ride home, I asked my husband the really burning question: "What is a self-portrait photographer supposed to do when she gets a nickel-sized chunk taken out of her face?" We both agreed I'd have to get creative. Also, I might start wearing rehab shades. Or a big eye patch. Maybe a Phantom of the Opera mask. Stay tuned.

Sitting in the dermatologist's waiting room surrounded by wrinkly, sun-spotted old people with bandaged faces covering craters like mine was kind of sad. I felt like I was seeing into my future. And it sucked.

Skin cancer is not attractive. And it's easily preventable.

Can I give you a piece of advice?

Use sunscreen.