A Good Warm Sweater

"I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch."

-- Gilda Radner

Sheep 12-7-14

Sheep 12-7-14

"... it is as though the fabric were indeed 

a natural extension of the body,

or even of the soul."

-- Quentin Bell

"Let man wear the fell of the lion,

woman the fleece of the sheep."

-- William Blake

"The best time to wear a striped sweater,

is all the time."

-- Spongebob Squarepants

A Good Day For Hanging Christmas Lights

"In the right light, at the right time,

everything is extraordinary."

-- Aaron Rose

Bird nest with Christmas lights 11-24-14

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things -- 

not the great occasions -- give off the greatest glow of happiness."

-- Bob Hope

We had a little warm-up over the weekend, so we grabbed the opportunity to get some stuff done, including hanging the outside Christmas lights.

I'd like to say that we had an unusually early burst of Christmas spirit and goodwill, but truthfully, our motivation was more self-preservation than anything.

Hanging Christmas lights in the freezing cold is a bitch.

You can't hang those pesky little fuckers with gloves or mittens on. You have to go at it bare-handed. So if you get a warm enough day close-ish enough to Christmas, do it then and save your fingers from frostbite.

Quite honestly, it was a good day to do it. So we did it.

I must admit, though, our little house looks pretty fucking adorable. And it felt good to feel good about decorating a little bit. For the past couple of years I haven't given a rat's ass about Christmas, period. As for Christmas decorations -- Fuggedaboutit. 

Of course, our strands of lights were all tangled and not lighting up right. So we decided to start fresh. We even strayed away from the typical tiny white twinkle lights and went retro.

I rode my bike over to our local ACE Hardware and bought two strings of lights that remind me of the big old glass-bulb kind from my childhood.

Except, unlike the flesh-blistering glass bulbs of yore, these lights are plastic and cool to the touch and won't burn anyone's fingers. They also won't burn down the house.

They look pretty cool too. Looking at them outside makes me feel happy inside.

Heated Seats

"Heat, like gravity, penetrates every substance of the universe..."

-- Joseph Fourier, The Analytical Theory of Heat

Orange popsicle, hot cocoa, marshmallows 6-9-14

"We laughed a lot and I grew warmer still,

lovely and warm."

-- Franny Billingsley, Chime

Yesterday was cold and windy, rainy and gray. 

Not what you'd expect almost mid-June.

I was chilled all morning. It was the kind of chill that settled deep in my bones and refused to budge.

Then Sam and I got in my car to drive somewhere for lunch.

My car has heated seats.

We cranked those babies up to high and let 'em toast our backsides all the way there and all the way back.

Heated seats are like a warm, cozy hug from behind, the way they wrap around you and melt away the chill. 

They make a drive feel more like a snuggle.

When I'm really, really cold, they feel really, really good.

Getting My Money's Worth

"It's cold outside and I can't wear mittens

because they're not flattering to my hands."

-- Tom Haverford, Parks and Recreation, 

Season 5 Episode 9, "Ron and Diane"

Self portrait 2-7-14

"Thank you adult mittens,

for allowing me to give people the finger

without them knowing it."

-- Jimmy Fallon, Thank You Notes

So I bought these mittens online because they were a real bargain, and also because I needed to round up my total to get the free shipping.

They're transformer mittens, you know, the flip-top kind where the tops of the mittens fold back to reveal half-fingered gloves. So I get the warmth of mittens, yet still have access to my fingertips if and when I need them. It's a best of both worlds kind of thing.

The thumbs of these mittens aren't involved in the big reveal, though. Just the fingers. Except the thumbs have little slits in them just inside the knuckle (between the Proximal and Distal phalanges, if you wanna be all anatomically correct, which, of course, I do). These little slits are just the right size for me to slip out my thumbs for texting, or adjusting my camera, or hitch-hiking, or being fingerprinted, or thumb-sucking or whatever. I simply have to pull off their little knit hoods.

What I really love, though, is that with their hoods up, the little gaps remain open, so my thumbs look like they're wearing itty-bitty ski masks -- like they're about to rob a bank or something shifty.

Transformer mittens with tiny thumb ski masks?

They're warm, practical, and a super-fun toy all in one.

I'm no math wiz, but if my tally is correct, that makes three good things in one day.

I told you they were a bargain.