A Good Warm Sweater

"I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch."

-- Gilda Radner

Sheep 12-7-14

Sheep 12-7-14

"... it is as though the fabric were indeed 

a natural extension of the body,

or even of the soul."

-- Quentin Bell

"Let man wear the fell of the lion,

woman the fleece of the sheep."

-- William Blake

"The best time to wear a striped sweater,

is all the time."

-- Spongebob Squarepants

A Table For Two

"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of 

love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.

The order varies for any given year."

-- Paul Sweeney

Doll house miniatures 12-6-14

"A long marriage is two people

trying to dance a duet and two solos

at the same time."

-- Anne Taylor Fleming

"Love one another and you will be happy.

It's as simple and as difficult as that."

-- Michael Leunig

Yesterday, Big Daddy and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary.

We went out for a nice little dinner at a nice little restaurant, enjoyed good food, good wine, and each other at a nice little table for two.

I had the sea bass. He had the scallops.

He drank white. I drank red. We raised our glasses to the last 22 years, and to the next 22.

There is no traditional gift for the 22nd anniversary, so I bought him booze and candy, and he bought me baseball tickets.

Every year on my grandparents' anniversary my Grandma would always say, "That's a long time to look at the same face!"

She was right.

Fortunately, I married someone with a very handsome face.

Christmas Colors

"Give crayons." 

-- Dr. Sun Wolf

Crayons 12-5-14

"My childhood smells like a box of Crayola crayons."

-- Terry Guillemets

"Artists are just children who

refuse to put down their crayons."

-- Al Hirschfeld

Every year for Christmas I restock my little niece Sophia's art supplies.

Sophia is a true artist, and her voluminous output is pretty damned impressive.

She draws and paints and colors a lot.

Sophia's artistic fervor reminds me of myself, and I hope she never loses her delight, her need or her persistence in putting color to paper. (You can read about my personal love affair with art supplies here.)

Crayons 12-5-14

The world is a lot more colorful because of who Sophia is, and because of what she creates, and I want to be one of the people who encourages her to keep doing and creating and making her art.

So yesterday, as always, I went a little nuts at the art store and bought her a fresh supply of crayons, markers, colored pencils, paper and paint.

Sophia has come to expect this particular kind of gift from me. And I am OK with being a little predictable. I want her to know she can count on me. Sophia knows I'll get her art stuff just like her brother Marco knows I'll give him pickles and olives.

It's my thing.

And I happen to think it's a good thing.

Beating The Blues

"My mama used to say the blues is an ailment

that don't like no sunshine in the room."

-- Lisa Wingate, Talk of the Town

Vitamin D capsules 12-4-14

"... face the sun and imagine

you are inhaling its light ..."

-- Lynda Liu, "Summer Sun for Winter Blues:

Basking in the Sun for Depression?" WebMD

Hoo boy.

It's that time of year again, when the winter blues start stalking me.

That means it's time to fight back.

While there is debate about exactly which therapies and tactics are most effective for warding off winter depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), I'm leaving the debate to the experts and covering all my bases.

I'm taking my regular meds. Faithfully. That's a no-brainer.

Some say Vitamin D deficiency is the culprit. So I am also taking lots of Vitamin D.

I'm exercising.

Some say we get depressed in winter because we absorb less sunshine due to shorter days and more time spent indoors. So I am taking a long walk outside every day.

I also have two special lights that mimic sunlight, so I can plug those in and inject a little electric sunshine into my dark interior.

Depression is serious. Trust me. I know.

And winter is like jet fuel for depression.

Keeping that fucker off my back is a daily battle.

It's a good thing I have a few weapons of my own.






*Click here for more information about Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms and therapies.

High For The Holidays?

"How do you think those reindeers fly so high?"

-- Unknown

Nursery sign 12-3-14

"... retailers have to do more than just sell pot to get public attention.

Pot shops are using old and new media to tout the sales."

-- Kristen Wyatt,

"Merry Marijuana:
Colorado Pot Sellers Woo Holiday Shoppers," 

Portland Press Herald

"Can you steer your sleigh all right?

Are you sure you're good to fly tonight?"

-- Breathe Carolina, "Mile High Christmas"

Stoned Santa 12-3-14

I'm sure it's just a workshop on how to decorate festive flower pots.

Or maybe it has something to do with making nice Christmas flower arrangements.

I don't know what you were thinking.

That's not even legal in Ohio.

Although, judging by some of the Christmas decorations popping up around town, people are clearly smoking something.

Lit up aliens 12-3-14

Putting My Feet Up

"He shifted his weight from foot to foot,

but it was equally uncomfortable on each."

-- Douglas Adams, 

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Turkey feet 12-2-14

"Putting your feet up for just ten minutes a day can help."

-- Tania Alexander, 

"Ten Steps to Healthy Legs," dailymail.co.uk

My feet hurt a lot.

I don't exactly know why, but they do.

A couple of times a day (sometimes several times), I elevate my feet and ice them to knock down the discomfort. (We have more ice and ice packs in our freezer than we do frozen food.)

Anyway, putting my feet up helps.

Some.

For a while.

But the pain always comes back.

Yesterday I went out to the shed for a shovel, and when I opened the door I got a face full of severed turkey feet tied to a hunk of two-by-four sitting on the shelf.

Gross, I know.

But it got me thinking, dreamily, of taking my feet off when they're especially bothersome. You know, if I could just detach them right above the ankles and put them up on a shelf, say, overnight, so I wouldn't have to sleep with ice packs wrapped around my feet all the time. That way, when I put my feet up, I'd really be putting them up.

Although I guess having detachable feet didn't work out so well for the turkey. Because it's dead now.

Oh well. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Found Objects 2: Tiny Miracles Of Nature

"Your transformation
will be the miracle."

-- Holly Lynn Payne, 

DAMASCENA: The Tale of Roses and Rumi

Praying Mantis ootheca (egg sack) 12-1-14

"Today for show and tell,

I've brought a tiny miracle of nature."

-- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"For a moment, our eyes see and our ears can hear

what is there around us always."

-- Willa Cather, Death Comes for the Archbishop

My guys did a lot of hunting over the long Thanksgiving weekend. 

That means instead of sleeping late like most of his his classmates, Leo was up at the ass-crack of dawn, dressed in camo and face paint, hunkered down in a cold cornfield snuggled up to his 12-gauge shotgun hoping to shoot geese out of the sky.

In the afternoons, they went traipsing around the woods hunting rabbits and pheasants.

In all they bagged one goose, one pheasant and two doves (which produce the meat equivalent of a chicken nugget).

While hunting in the woods, they also found several Praying Mantis egg sacks, or ootheca.

It's a good thing they brought them home. I didn't know this, but it's a good idea to relocate Praying Mantis eggs into territory away from the cannibalistic carnivorous mother who laid them so that she doesn't eat her own hatchlings. 

My husband stashed the egg sacks in sheltered spots outside in the shrubbery. Come springtime, hopefully the ootheca will crack open and nymphs will hatch and we'll have baby Praying Mantises again.

Baby Praying Mantises are tiny miracles of nature -- perfect, exact, miniature, impossibly small replicas of the big guys. I love having them around the yard and garden, so I am happy to provide them room and board -- garden plants, flowers and all the associated pests they can eat -- as long as they want to stick around for the buffet.

I guess you could say we're preying for a miracle.

Heh. Heh. Good one.