A Gothic Garden Tool

"Listen garden tool, don't make me introduce you to my power tool."

-- Eminem, "Won't Back Down"

Self portrait 5-12-14

I got the best gifts for Mother's Day.

I got a whole bag of my favorite dark roast Sumatra decaf, from Sam.

I got a whole pound of M&Ms, from Leo.

And I got a bad ass Gothic looking garden tool from my very thoughtful husband.

So about this garden tool ...

My grandfather had something like it. It's not quite a rake, not quite a hoe, but a long-handled, single clawed hook that is exactly perfect for maneuvering around and in between plants without disrupting everything else in its path.

It was the only thing on my one-item birthday list. And even my super-tenacious husband couldn't find one anywhere. Trust me, if it was out there, he'd have found it.

But he didn't give up.

"American Gothic," Grant Wood, 1930

He talked to a guy who knew a guy who happens to also be our plumber and who has a workshop full of all kinds of great stuff. This guy is pretty super-ingenious at making and fixing just about anything. And he happened to have an old 3-prong claw rake that he said probably belonged to his grandfather, which makes the thing more than 100 years old. The claws can be removed and re-configured with screw-down clamps, so he removed all but the single center claw, cleaned it up and delivered it to my husband's office just in time for Mother's Day.

(He also gave us the extra claws. What a sweetie pie!)

I plan to start using it today. My garden plants are sitting in flats, all ready to go. But first I have a few weeds to deal with, and I've got a bad ass hook to do it with, so those little fuckers better watch out.

As for the self portrait?

With all due respect to Grant Wood, I just couldn't resist.